No! Not Yet..

I WOULDN’T use that word
I couldn’t..

I still believe that you are still here
There in your little place somewhere

I wouldn’t go there
I couldn’t..

I still believe you’re roaming in your place
There or you’ll be sleeping

I couldn’t believe you’re gone
I don’t want to

I couldn’t even say goodbye
I don’t want to

You are still here
Sleeping somewhere
Waiting to be awoken

You are still here
Hiding somewhere
Waiting to be found

You are still here
I wanted to believe you are just here
Still here

If this is what they call goodbye
I wouldn’t want to believe it
I wouldn’t say it
I couldn’t
Not yet..

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Years From Now

YEARS FROM now, I wouldn’t remember how you walk, how you run.

I wouldn’t remember how you drink, how you eat.

Years from now I wouldn’t remember how you played with us, how you scratch your ears.

I wouldn’t remember how you sometimes peed in our bed, how you chase people entering our house.

Years from now I wouldn’t remember how you bark at people, how you run out of the house letting us chase you.

I wouldn’t remember how you lick our faces, how you waited for your little pieces of bread.

Years from now I wouldn’t remember how you ate ham every New Year’s Eve. I wouldn’t remember how you hated chicken.

Years from now I may forget all about the things you did or didn’t do..

But years from now, I will always remember you. I will always remember how a Deirdre walked in our life and made a big change.

Years from now I might forget all about the things you did or didn’t do.

But years from now I will always remember that you love and protected us. I will always remember a Deirdre who unquestionably gave us love and happiness.

Years from now I will never forget how I found a friend and a family in you Didie.

Your Darkest Time, Deirdre

 

Sorry for not being there, the time you needed us the most.

Sorry for not being there, for not holding you when you needed to be held, for not hugging you when you needed to be hugged.

Sorry for not being there when you left this world, when you have to do it alone.

Sorry for not being there, for not being the last thing you see.

Sorry for not being there. Sorry for not having the chance to even say goodbye.

Sorry you needed to feel the hurt. Sorry if you thought we left you all alone.

Sorry for not being there in your darkest time.

Sorry Deirdre,
Sorry Didie..

Deirdre

 

Atmosphere talked it isn’t home, atleast not anymore.

I tried to search for her knowing she’s not coming back.

Her little cries, making sound. Her barks, I wouldn’t hear anymore.

Her little body, finding herself to bed. Her warmth, I wouldn’t feel anymore.

Her licks, her kisses wetting our faces, I wouldn’t get any anymore.

Her claws, making scars I wouldn’t be wounded anymore.

Her eyes, her eyes.. I will always remember.

Her eyes I couldn’t stare anymore. Her eyes I couldn’t talk to anymore.

In your presence.. we found friendship inspite of not tapping our shoulders. We found love inspite of not saying anything. We found family inspite of the difference.

Our little mini pinscher wherever you may be, you’ve been a part of our life and always will be.

Wherevee you may be, we know you loved us. We know you protected us.

You are loved Didie, Our little Deirdre.

 

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